"The Awakening" by Sonny Carroll

I received this by email a couple of years ago from an ex-colleague. I hope you find this as interesting as I do...


A time comes in your life when you finally get it . ..
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting
and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin
to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back
your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin
to look at the world through new eyes...
This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting
for something to change or for happiness, safety and
security to come galloping over the next horizon. You
come to terms with the fact that you are not Prince
Charming and she is not Cinderella and that in the
real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or
beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with you and in the
process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and
that not everyone will always love, appreciate or
approve of who or what you are . . . and that's OK.
(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)
And you learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself and in the process a sense of new found
confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the
things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you
learn that the only thing you can really count on is
the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say
what they mean or mean what they say and that not
everyone will always be there for you and that it's
not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of
yourself and in the process a sense of safety &
security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging
and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as
they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human
frailties and in the process a sense of peace &
contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that
much of the way you view yourself, and the world
around you, is as a result of all the messages and
opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been
fed about how you should behave, how you should look,
what you should wear, where you should shop, what you
should drive, how and where you should live, what you
should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you
should marry and what you should expect of a marriage,
the importance of having and raising children or what
you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different
points of view. And you begin reassessing and
redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values
you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to
begin with and in the process you learn to go with
your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving
that we receive.

And that there is power and glory in creating and
contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

Your learn that principles such as honesty and
integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era
but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon
which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not
your job to save the world and that you can't teach a
pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt
and responsibility and the importance of setting
boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the
only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and
that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial
love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to
stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to
project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship. You learn that you will not be more
attractive, more intelligent, more lovable or important
because of the person on your arm or the child that bears
your name. You learn to look at relationships as they
really are and not as you would have them be. You
stop trying to control people, situations and
outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change so it is
with love ... and you learn that you don't have
the right to demand love on your terms . . . just to
make you happy.

And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely . . .
And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the
fact that you will never be a perfect 10
and you stop trying to compete with the image inside
your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings
aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly
OK ... and that it is your right to want things
and to ask for the things that you want . . . and that
sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be
treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect
and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only
the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you
with their touch . . . and in the process you
internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with
respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking
more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn
that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create
doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest.

And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our
soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get
what you believe you deserve . . . and that much of
life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn
that anything worth achieving is worth working for and
that wishing for something to happen is different from
working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve
success you need direction, discipline and
perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all
alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is
the great robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You
learn to step right into and through your fears
because you know that whatever happens you can handle
it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to
live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to
squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't
always get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize
things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or
failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal
state -- the ego. You learn that negative feelings
such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood
and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of
you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You
learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges
instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many
of the simple things we take for granted, things that
millions of people upon the earth can only dream
about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a
soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself
by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never
betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than
your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime
outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep
trusting and to stay open to every wonderful
possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by
your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and
you begin to design the life you want to live as best
as you can.